2017 will go down on record as one of my most difficult years. In early April, my mother passed away here at home with me. The relationship I had been in ended. It’s a good thing, but still a loss and all attempts at finding a new relationship have failed. Then shortly before Christmas, my beloved gregarious gold tabby died. Now, the loss of a pet may seem like a minor loss, but this boy was special. He was everywhere I was, following me around like a puppy and always in my lap if I was sitting down. A very large presence, so his absence is palpable and painful. On top of all this loss, I had nobody to spend Christmas with. For the first time in my life, I was home alone for what should be the most special day of the year. Despite having many good friends, I didn’t share this with anyone, and they were all busy enjoying the holiday with their family. It is a family day after all. So there I was. Watching the end of a pretty horrendous year, sad, alone and feeling sorry for myself. But, those who know me, know that I don’t wallow for long.
No, with the turning of the year, I decided to take control. The first thing I did was a little woo-woo, but what the heck! Why not try it? I burned sage and walked around my home making sure some smoke emanated into every room, cleansing the bad joo-joo. After all, two of my loved ones had died here, so cleansing was a good thing!
Next, I decided to stop trying to find a man. If there is one for me, we’ll find each other organically. None of the structured means have worked, so I’m leaving it up to the universe. Not focusing on it will allow me the space to be happy and just live my life, not thinking about the absence of what I want.
The next decision I made was to focus on my business. As a coach, I work with professionals to help them have great careers and plan for a fulfilling retirement. I coach through job transitions, professional coaching on difficult situations that arise at work, and also help people as they leave the workplace figure out what they are going to do with their time, and how they will deal with the challenges retirement presents. It’s rewarding work and I’ve dedicated this year to helping as many people as I can. That means getting out and meeting people. I love to speak in front of interested audiences, sharing my story, or tips on career advice, so I’ll be out and about more. In so doing, who knows, maybe ‘that man’ will manifest himself in one of these locations.
The final thing I decided to do came about as a result of being a single woman without children, alone on Christmas day. It WILL NOT happen again! I’ve reached out and started a group for similar women. Women who through no desire or fault of their own find themselves mid-life and alone. It sucks. I’ll be honest. All I ever dreamed of was being a wife and mother to 5 children. Fate did not give me what I dreamed of since I was a little girl. I don’t know why, but I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself. It’s time to take what life has handed and make the most of it. I have a lot to give and I’m going to do my best to spread that around.
So, 2018 is the year of my coaching business and celebrating being a single woman! No more wallowing. No more waiting for ‘it’ to happen. I’m just going to get out and enjoy everything I can!